February is finally here, and Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. So the big question is, what do men/women want for Valentine’s Day?

What is the most common thing that lovers want on Valentine’s Day? Is it chocolate, flowers, jewellery, or spa gift cards for women? And physical intimacy, liquor, a gift card, or electronics for him? Is it that simple?

The last few years have taught me the value of quality time with those you love. When your world is in disarray, and you, and the whole world, are dealing with a problematic situation, material things take a secondary role. You are left with the essential things in life—the people you have around you and the relationships you have cultivated with them.

You then ask yourself a question. What is important to you, what matters in life?

After 17 years of marriage, Valentine’s Day hits differently, especially this year.

We are now at the point where material gifts are not needed or expected. We don’t show our love or appreciation to each other through expensive material gifts. Taking the time to spend quality time together, just the two of us is our gift to each other.

Intimacy, authentic connection, opening up and being present at the moment, really consciously trying to give each other that specific time to be together. That is a more significant gift than any expensive gift that money could buy. Our lives are so busy, so working hard on getting that one on one time for connection is a priority.

And instead of just focusing on putting all your effort into making this only one day important, you can see it as something that you can do daily, weekly.

Something else that is a beautiful surprise is when your partner does something to help your day go smoothly without you asking—dropping the kids at school for you that day, prepping lunch for them to take to work when they have a busy day, finishing folding laundry when the other is busy, and more. Those little things show you appreciate and care about your partner, and again, it doesn’t have to happen only on Valentine’s Day.

Some people decide not to celebrate Valentine’s Day at all, which is entirely acceptable. Every relationship is different, and you can make your own rules and do what works for you and your partner best.

How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you exchange gifts? What do you like getting for Valentine’s Day if you do?